Sunday, October 11, 2009

And then there was Me


Long rainy day here in Austin. But, the rain is good- we had an extremely hot and dry summer so we need it.

Do you ever feel so pumped and ready to do something that you can hardly stand being in your own skin? It's like time just doesn't move fast enough and you have so many ideas running through your head- so fast- that it's all you can do to just "be"? That's me, right now.

Ate way too much this weekend. Well, ate too much yesterday and today- yes, to reiterate- ate way too much this weekend. Yuck. I feel gross. Got that out of my system- keep trucking.

Now I want to go into my apartment and just organize my entire life. Make charts, do analysis, write out dreams, work on my resume, start learning Spanish, practice my guitar, travel to Europe. I want to do it all- right now :-). Pulling an all night -er and just fulfilling every dream sounds intriguing.....Random thought. I get the idea that sometimes I use my overweight condition as an excuse for not pursuing, or doing my dreams- makes things "easier" because I have a justification. I'm stopping that- that's not my story anymore.

My sister is in town and I love having her around, plus she brought my adorable three-year-old nephew. They've been under the weather though and just need sleep and rest time- and this is the exact opposite of what I need. I'm going stir crazy.

My sister is about 3 years younger than I, married and like I said, has a child. She also has a home, and her husband has a cushy secure government job. They do things like have a garden, are putting in a patio, brew beer in the basement, go on play groups to pumpkin patches and make arts and crafts. She can sew, cook, and even speak conversational many ways she's kicking my ass in regular "life things". I get asked all the time if I too am married, have kids, etc. "Nope" I reply, usually forcing a smile because I feel like the inquirer then feels awkward and I want to make them comfortable. It's a strange moment where they realize they've just asked me a question my reply leaves no easy response. What are you suppose to say, "No kids, house, husband- good for you!" The truth is though, like any sibling- my sister and I are very different. I'm not ready for those things in my life, and she is. I will be ready one day- but just not quite yet. I'm working on me, and this is how I want things. It's been about 8 months since I got out of a serious 5 year relationship that completely consumed me. Now is "me" time. Scary, exciting, challenging, adventurous me time.

I'm rambling. I'm going to go hook my dreams to a star.

Your Friend- the Adventurer, Artist, Achiever, Intellect, Spiritual Girl (I took a personality test- can you tell?)

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